On Tangibility

 One of the really difficult things about having a kid with Asperger's and also asthma/allergies is that not only does he get sick a lot, but it is very very hard for him to understand that, yes, he will get better. 

Once again, and it always seems to happen at the end of a season (summer camp is almost over) he has some kind of bronchial infection. Today was rough. He was moody, irritable and feeling miserable. The bossiness levels spiked, as did the annoying levels. 

Now here is the thing that I struggle with. It seems to be a very, very Aspergian (is that a word?) trait to only be able to see the moment in front of you. So when P. gets sick, he is convinced he will "be sick forever". When a friend plays with someone else "he is no longer my friend". When something is lost "we will never have it again".

I am thinking this is connected to the struggle so many on the spectrum have with symbolic thinking. "Tomorrow" is not a tangible thing. "Right now it is raining", is. P. often asks "is it tomorrow yet?" "No", I will say, "that is a long time off. When you wake up it will be tomorrow, but then you will call it 'today'." I kind of get the feeling that he hopes if he wakes up at just the right moment, in the middle of the night, he will be able to "catch" tomorrow and prove it once and for all as being a tangible, after all. 

So we are going to the doctor "tomorrow", instead of his going on a day camp field trip. If he can feel a little better, he may not even mind that much. But I do hope I can strive to find ways to explain to him, in a way he will understand, that even though he is sick now, it won't last forever. If I can someday help him picture that, I will be a very grateful mom. 

 

 

Comments

Kristin's picture

Hi LogoMom, I really

Hi LogoMom,


I really enjoyed reading your blog post. I have been thinking about it a bit and I came up with an idea I wanted to share with you. You may have tried it already, but if you haven't it is worth a shot. It may help your son feel more connected to the abstract concepts you are talking about.

You will need the following things:

1. Any old paper calendar

2. Glue, tape, and scissors

3. These symbols printed out:  http://mrsriley.com/app/#fileID=21833

4. About 5 minutes (this may be the hardest thing to come by). :)

5. Your son

Here's the idea:

Sit down with your son and the materials above. Put the symbols on the calendar days that correspond with what happened. For example, if he got sick on the 8th and saw the doctor on the 11th place those symbols on the corresponding dates. Next, number the days from the time he got sick to the day he started to feeling better. This may help him see the passage of time because you can show him visually that it took him x number of days to feel better. Keeping a record of this will also be a good reference when he gets sick again.

It will help to do this each time he gets sick so he learns it takes varying lengths of time to start feeling better, but it makes it easier for him to see that he WILL feel better eventually. If there are other things you did to help him get better that aren't represented in the symbols I shared with you feel free to make new symbols and add them to the calendar (e.g., went to the hospital, rested in bed). In the future you can start the calendar when he feels rotten and have him number the days as he goes.

I hope this helps and that your son is feeling better. If you try it out I'd love to hear how it went and will be happy to offer more suggestions if you'd like.

Cheers,

Kristin

 

 

 

LogoMom's picture

 Hi Kristin, Thanks for your

 Hi Kristin,

Thanks for your response! I have been so busy what with P going back to school. This is a great idea, and he would especially respond to the filling out the calendar part (he loves calendars :-)

I will try this out and write an update on how it has worked out...

Thanks again, 

LM

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